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Written by Hair
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Friday, January 06, 2006 |
My iPod video came today and gave me a serious "WTF!" moment. I had my eyes glued to UPS' tracking system all morning, only to see the status change to delivered and the location change to "FRT DOOR."
When I saw that I thought to myself, "Did UPS seriously just leave a fucking iPod at the DOOR without a goddamned signature?? I will kill."
Like Peter North rockin' a pop shot I grabbed my cell and rang the Gergathon.
"GERG! What are you doing?" I yell into the phone. "Are you home?"
He is. I ask if I got a package, and he says no, so I ask him to check outside. Sure enough, UPS wasn't kidding with the "FRT DOOR" location - it was between the doors where any asshole with sticky fingers could have snagged it for approximately 0 bones. Had Gerg not been home I most definitely would have claimed illness and peeled out towards my humble abode in a race to get my mits on something that UPS put in easy reach of a thief or wild animal.
Suffice it to say, I've been playing with the thing most of the night. When I'm done, I'll probably see what the iPod can do.
ZIIIINNNNGGGGG
Anyway, the CES (that's Consumer Electronics Show for the large-foreheaded) is happening right now, which means a shitton of technology news and debuts (yeah...absorb that one in folks). I would suggest heading to Engadget (http://www.engadget.com/) and possibly News.com (http://www.news.com) for some good coverage. Other sites with decent coverage include Slashdot, HardOCP, Arstechnica, and Joystiq.
So what's some of the noise today? Well, DirecTV and XM are shooting out loads of gadgets so as to spew their content as far and wide as humanly possible. Intel's pimping the Viiv (pronounced "five" which makes absolutely no sense), TiVo's got a new box with dual Cablecard slots (giggidy giggidy goo!), and Samsung crapped out a 102" plasma TV. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.
What's NOT making noise? How about Sony admitting the PS3 will be delayed but not saying jack about it? Or by announcing Really Fucking Expensive BluRay players in the face of less expensive HD-DVD players? Yeah. Also Nintendo and some company I've never heard of are making a backseat DVD player/GBA system. Seriously, what the fuck - WHY? Of course, Nintendo then goes and pees in Sony's pool by announcing global DS sales of 13 million and growing. In Japan, the DS is selling almost half a million every WEEK. How's that for some crazy-ass sales? Meanwhile, the Xbox360 Japanese launch resulted in fewer sales than the GameCube. I wonder where Peter Moore went (oh yes, I just name-dropped).
I don't work tomorrow (basically), which means I'm all set to sit around in my undies playing video games most of the day, and then seeing Hostel at night.
Oh yes, be jealous.
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Written by Hair
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Tuesday, January 03, 2006 |
Thank you, courteous neighbors in the apartment above us.
Thank you for being drunken whores (haven't yet validated that last part, but assumed).
Thank you for starting the party above us at 9:55PM.
Thank you for sounding like a massive elephant orgy above my bedroom.
Thank you for responding to my request for quiet with "It's OK, we're about to head downtown soon." No, clearly it is not ok.
Thank you for finally going downtown around 12:45AM. The stomping up and down the stairs is quite calming. No, really.
Thank you for returning home at 2:30AM to resume the elephant orgy in the kitchen.
Thank you for repeatedly dropping what alternately sounded like a sack of hammers and a sack of human arms on the floor. I like those sounds. It really helps me fall into a deep, relaxing sleep.
Thank you for kindly spacing out the dropping to once every 10 or 15 minutes. I don't mind getting yanked out of stage 1 of NREM sleep - it keeps me alert.
Finally, thank you for making me a very tired individual at work today. I do my very best work when I'm half asleep at my desk.
Assholes.
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Written by Hair
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Sunday, January 01, 2006 |
Happy frickin' New Year! Pictures are up from Megan's New Year's Pimps and Hos party, which was LEGENDARY, by the way. Lots of good fun was had by all. I can proudly say I started 2006 wearing a Hefner-style robe, flip flops, a pocket watch around my neck, drinking champagne, and watching the fireworks with other funny looking people.
Good times!
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Written by Hair
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Friday, December 30, 2005 |
Last night - this morning, rather - I realized what my main New Year's resolution was going to have to be: to not get angry enough to kill my upstairs neighbors.
People with no common courtesy really put my testicles in a twist, and our upstairs neighbors are just those kind of people. Oddly, the first few months of living at this residence were great - hardly a peep from the upstairs people during the quieter night hours. Personally, I consider 11pm to be the time when one should start to quiet down a bit, and by midnight, music should be moved to headphones, movies turned down, etc (unless it's the weekend). I ALWAYS practice this kind of courtesy to my roommates and neighbors, and it seemed like we were getting the same.
The past couple weeks have made me realize the past couple of months were nothing more than a fluke.
It happens more and more like this - at midnight-ish, I shut off the computer monitor, turn on the fan, set the alarm, and go to sleep. Peace. Quiet. And an hour later, a herd of fucking elephants stomping upstairs like they're running from a pack of starving lions. And they're running until 5 or 6am. Completely ridiculous.
The first time it happened, Jamber got up and left to her house at around 3 or 4am - lucky bastards. The next time it was just me in the house, and the stomping was less often, which meant I would be asleep for an hour - STOMP - sleep for another hour - STOMP, and so on. I had yet to go up and politely ask them to shut the fuck up, instead resorting to the classic bang-something-on-the-ceiling manuever, which didn't really work.
Last night I became Wolverine completely out of cigars - totally and irrevocably pissed off. The night began quietly and ended quietly - or so I thought. Indeed, I thought as much until 3:10am, when I was woken up by extremely loud music from the neighbors above. I layed still for a few moments, wondering if it was a fluke and they would turn it off soon.
No. After twenty minutes, I decided to spring to action. I threw on my hoodie, some shoes, and happily marched the fuck outside and to their door. Here's how the next set of events transpired...
Me: (rings doorbell)
Woman's voice from upstairs: "COME IN!!!" (she screams)
At this point I could hear the music quite well from outside, and it was apparent they thought I was someone else, but I just walked in anyway and stood at the bottom of the stairs.
Guy: "Hey, this guy doesn't look familiar."
Me: "Yes, I'm the downstairs neighbor."
A woman appears - I've met her before, she's the one with the dog, but I can't remember her name. She looks over the banister, but says nothing.
Me: "Hey, remember me? I live below you," I say. " Unfortunately I have to work tomorrow, so I was hoping you would turn your music down just a bit," I ask as politely as one could ask at 3:30 in the morning.
Woman: "What? Okay, but you guys are always playing your music really loudly," she says in an accusing tone.
I stared at her in disbelief. Arguing about turning music down at 3 in the fucking morning?
Me: "Excuse me? At 3:30 in the morning? I don't think so." I was even more pissed at this point than before.
Woman: "Yeah, you do." She says matter-of-factly.
I couldn't believe it. Accusing us of blasting tunes at 3:00am. You have to understand, Jon, Gerg, myself - after midnight we're the quietest bunch of assholes you could ever hope to be neighbors with. This woman was clearly Fucking Stupid.
I felt like arguing with her at this point simply because she was being a dumb bitch about the whole thing.
Me: "No, we have never been this loud, this late." I state quite sternly.
Woman: "You have, but why are you arguing? I said I would turn it down."
I looked at her, amazed, with a crooked smile of bewilderment on my face, and I said, "Wow."
At this point she turned and walked away, and another girl in the background screamed, "Tell him to put in some fucking earplugs!"
Now, those of you who really know me would understand how HARD it was for me to stop myself from telling her to take some earplugs and shove them up her fat fucking cow ass - but, amazingly, I did. I only stood there for a moment, contemplating things, and walked out with nary a word.
And thus the music ceased. I won this battle, but I fear the war has just begun.
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