mrhaironline (Latest)

New site!

Hair — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 19:51:02 +0100

Go here now: http://mrhaironline.com/mv6

Or just type in www.mrhaironline.com and you'll be take there by the powers of magic! Woah!

Dark Knight

Hair — Tue, 22 May 2007 02:59:39 +0100

Eat your heart out Jack Nicholson.

Digg Users Revolt

Hair — Wed, 02 May 2007 03:51:52 +0100

I don't know how many of you guys use Digg, but today the website has been completely overrun by users revolting because of incident earlier in the day. Basically, the HD-DVD AACS key was cracked and released on the internets. This being a huge story, it was Dugg and it made it to the front page of Digg...until it didn't. Turns out Digg deleted the story and banned the submitter, along with some other people for repeatedly posting the hex key, which was pretty funny in itself. Anyway, Digg is popular because it's entirely user-run - or so people thought until today. So this, along with the realization that the HD-DVD consortium sponsored Revision3 (the folks behind Digg and some other stuff) at one point, has caused a huge revolt on Digg, and every single story on the main page contains the hex key in it somewhere, which is completely fucking hilarious. Or shitty, if you count on Digg for news like most people.

Awesome.

In other news, 802.11N is neat. Thanks to some lightening last night, my old Linksys G router took a shiat. So I went and splurged on some nifty N-tech and I'm currently connected at 270mbps. Hooray for added range and speed!

Teen Pregnant

Hair — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 23:19:06 +0100

Could this comic be any better? No. No it could not.

What's doing in Hair's world?

Hair — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 14:06:06 +0100

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Here's the target area.
Gerou: That's Minnesota, sir.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home, and get in some good fishing while we're at it.
Gerou: Sir, the enemy is over there.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Then we'll fly them over here. Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... Do I have to think of everything?

Man, Top Shots and Top Shots Duex have to be two of the best comedies of the 90s, that's for sure. I'm amazed shit like Date Movie and Epic Movie gets made - it's like those writers completely ignored the brilliance of the Top Shots movies when trying to write their own parody. It's like they had a bunch of mentally challenged 4th graders write those scripts. Or that brain-dead chick from Florida a couple years back. It's hard to tell when a movie sucks so hard.

So I moved. I'm now on the South side of Milwaukee, or what is known as "Southgate" or "apartment building rented to me by an ungodly attractive woman." It's a pretty cool place - 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, 2 thousand closets, Mexican neighbors, annoying crying children...I couldn't have asked for a better place to live. My cat even likes the place and decided to show me how much he likes it by placing a large pile of excrement on my new mattress. Silly cat - he doesn't quite understand the kind of gifts a human would like, but he's getting there.

Otherwise, things are going. Work is good. I just had my first review here and it went really well. Better than I expected. Apparently people in the D School really like me (weird, amirite?), so I'm quite pleased about all that noise. And it's been a madhouse here - new shit coming in every day keeping me busy.

The other good thing about work is this woman I work with. Let's call her Maria, because that's her name. She has a niece, from Italy, because she's Italian and that's where she lives, you dicks. Anyway, this niece, whom I'll call Katarina, is a model, and is therefore smokin' hot, and she's coming to America (I wonder if she has a royal vagina washer?) soon. Maria wants me to be her generous host. If she actually comes it'll be interesting, because Katarina can understand English, but she can't speak it. And it's not like I can understand Italian. The only foreign phrases I know are in Spanish, and only include finding a bathroom and asking for a phone number (the two most important questions to know in a foreign language, for sure). Anyway, I think I'm looking forward to that.

Now, mrhaironline. Did you know this place was 3 days away from expiring? No? That's ok, because I'm lying. It was actually 5 days. But anyway, I'm finding I'm not as interested in the whole design and administration of this place as I used to be. Ergo, the half-complete redesign is pretty much gone (that is the truth, I don't know where I put the files I was editing) and I'm pretty sure I'm done with all that. I think, someday, I'll move to a lighter blogging engine or something, and just focus more on the forum. Really, I'm not sure. I always have a bunch of ideas and a non-bunch of motivation.

And that's that. Sarah, Anne, and Amanda are coming to town this weekend for an orgy at my abode and a birthday celebration for the world's biggest mumcho - James, or boobookittyfuck as you forum-dwellers may know him. The events of this weekend are guaranteed to be a splendid time.

I'm going to leave you with this AWESOME Youtube video - Terminator vs. Robocop. It's so good I not only creamed my shorts, but yours as well, and I got good coverage on your pillow.

Exclusive - Jaws 4 Scenes!

Hair — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 21:09:37 +0100

Yes, that's right, Jaws 4. Richard Dreyfuss returns as Matt Hooper, and Samuel L. Jackson is the new Jaws.

This movie is going to make Speed look like Speed 2: Cruise Control. Beum!

The Jew has left the Eastside

Hair — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 22:17:35 +0100

Update: March 13: Well I'm still working on the "redesign". And by "working on" I mean watching a lot of old Jenna Jameson porn. Like when she was actually good-looking as opposed to the porno version of Leatherface.

Onward toward South Side Milwaukee! Tonight I begin the "big move" to the "South Side" of "Milwaukee." I already have the cable folks coming tonight, so I will thankfully be without cable for not much more than 2 hours, provided Time Warner doesn't pound me in the ass. That said, there probably will be no further updates to this website, ever.

Errr...until Wednesday, I mean. Yeah, that's the ticket. I've been working (less than) diligently on a new look for the website for the past few weeks, and I hope to be finished by Wednesday. With a little bit of luck, some beers, and some mashed up oxycontin, I'll be finished with the new shit by then. And finally, FINALLY, mrhaironline will run on clean CSS and will be happily devoid of table, tr, and td code.

At last, mrhaironline will be behind the web curve by only 5 years instead of 8.

Finally, testicles. That is all.

Jenna Jameson needs to stop

Hair — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 23:47:16 +0100

Seriously. Does she look in the mirror after getting this shit done?

Bigass picture after the jump...

It's been nearly a month

Hair — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 14:48:08 +0100

It's been nearly a month since I last posted, but I figured it was time to come back. Why? To gloat.

West Bank Story took home the Oscar for the best live-action short film. Suck it, you schlemiels!

Also, this is probably the last update I'll have until I've finished moving. Yes! I'm moving to the South side of Milwaukee in the Jamber neighborhood. Should be a good time, and the apartment is bigger and nicer. More room for playing with my Wii. And more room for the D to tear shit up while I'm gone. That bastard cat. Anyway, I will probably have some kind of apartment-warming party at some point, so keep your weekends free until I tell you to no longer keep them free.

And finally, friends, I implore you to visit the forums and update yourselves on the topic of Spears-gate 2007. I haven't seen a collapse this huge since I saw Elizabeth Berkley completely naked in Showgirls.

Jew out.

The best news story you will ever read

Hair — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 03:48:41 +0100

David Krumholtz, Neil Patrick Harris, Rob Corddry, Christopher Meloni, Ed Helms, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Paula Garces, Jack Conley, Roger Bart, Danneel Harris and Eric Winter will join John Cho and Kal Penn in Harold & Kumar 2.

That's right dudes. Fur burgers.

Oh, and here's something about the plot:
"The sequel is set in motion on the same morning that Harold and Kumar finally satisfy their munchies at White Castle and the object of Harold's affection, Maria (Garces), sets off for Amsterdam.

The pair decide to pursue her so Harold can proclaim his love. But when an overzealous passenger mistakes Kumar for a terrorist (24!), the plane is diverted and the boys are off on a new escapade of mistaken identity.

From Guantanamo Bay through the Deep South, Harold and Kumar encounter myriad wackos, jerks and whores as they are pursued by the Department of Homeland Security all the way into Bush Country."

This is the best news since Bill and Ted 3 and Teen Wolf 3 were announced.