What smells like perspiration, fear, pizza, Mountain Dew, and and pent-up sexual frustrations? If you said LAN Party, you’d win the prize (there is no prize). The atheist is having another LAN in his basement on the 27th, but because it’s a HeckerLAN, it smells more like beer than anything else. That’s a good thing. Also good is that Gerg will not be there, so the place won’t smell like gay either.
Anyway, HeckerLAN II, October 27th, House of the Godless One. BE THERE. And bring these things:
-Beer, computer, monitor, surge protector, naked women, anything else Hecker mentions in this thread, ability to accept losing to a Jew without crying too much.
Also coming up is the birthday of Jon’s wife, Amber. I don’t know how old she will be, but there will be dinner, drinking, and group sex so I don’t think it really matters. Her birthday is the 23rd but the festivities will be the Friday night before the LAN. I’m a little worried that this might lead to some LAN party pukage, but things should be OK as long as Hecker’s basement has a drain. Hecker also has a dog, and everyone knows that dogs love puke, so if you can’t make it to the drain just puke on or near the dog and forget about it. That’s a pro-tip right there.
Uh, also occuring at the end of this month is a little holiday the peons call Halloween. Yeah. I believe the common thread of Halloween is that the guys dress up in a costume with tits or giant cocks, and all women dress in something that makes them look like whores, then everyone gets extremely drunk. Also people give candy to small children, something frowned upon the other 364 days of the year so now is your chance to get away with being a creepy old man, Jon.
That’s it. That’s October. Or Cocktober, as I like to call it, considering I basically walked around my apartment completely naked for almost the entire month for some reason. Cocktober. Rock ‘n roll.
